[ReubenVP]

The pub was pretty wild last night.

Someone's nipple got pierced - and I got banned from darts.

[Stan Thomas]

Just been reading about Custer's last stand, and I can't understand why the Indians became so hostile when only ten minutes before the battle they were all singing and dancing.

P.S. for my friend ReubenVP:

Our local pub is so rough the sawdust on the floor is last night's furniture, and you cannot get in unless your tatoos are spelled wrong!

[Johnny 216GSi]

In a hotel lobby recently, there was a crowd of grand masters all talking about how good they were.

It was just chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.

[Johnny 216GSi]

Someone I know who smokes illegal substances stole a page from my daily planner to roll up a joint.

Now he's high on my list of priorities.

He's ridiculous, really. He even bought a pair of shoes from his drug dealer.

I'm really not sure what they were laced with, but he was tripping all day.

[Johnny 216GSi]

My girlfriend accused me of acting too much like a private detective.

She said "We should split up."

I said "Good idea. That way, we can cover more ground."

[ReubenVP]

What do pigs and ink have in common?

They both belong in a pen.

[SteveB]

I bought a book on eBay called "How To Scam People Online".

That was at least three months ago - It still hasn't arrived!

[GTiJohn]

I bought a book a long while back Procrastination - don't waste your time

Still haven't got 'round to reading it...

[Johnny 216GSi]

A friend of mine keeps shouting out "Broccoli" and "Cauliflower" randomly whilst I'm talking to him.

I think he may have Florets Syndrome.

[Johnny 216GSi]

My father has suggested I should register for an organ donor card.

He's a man after my own heart.