Humour

Off-topic and topics which do not fit in elsewhere.
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ReubenVP
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Location: Hertfordshire

Re: Humour

Post by ReubenVP »

The pub was pretty wild last night.

Someone's nipple got pierced - and I got banned from darts.
Stan Thomas
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Re: Humour

Post by Stan Thomas »

Just been reading about Custer's last stand, and I can't understand why the Indians became so hostile when only ten minutes before the battle they were all singing and dancing.

P.S. for my friend ReubenVP:

Our local pub is so rough the sawdust on the floor is last night's furniture, and you cannot get in unless your tatoos are spelled wrong!
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Johnny 216GSi
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Re: Humour

Post by Johnny 216GSi »

In a hotel lobby recently, there was a crowd of grand masters all talking about how good they were.

It was just chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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Johnny 216GSi
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Re: Humour

Post by Johnny 216GSi »

Someone I know who smokes illegal substances stole a page from my daily planner to roll up a joint.

Now he's high on my list of priorities.

He's ridiculous, really. He even bought a pair of shoes from his drug dealer.

I'm really not sure what they were laced with, but he was tripping all day.
Last edited by Johnny 216GSi on Thu Jan 25, 2024 12:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Johnny 216GSi
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Re: Humour

Post by Johnny 216GSi »

My girlfriend accused me of acting too much like a private detective.

She said "We should split up."

I said "Good idea. That way, we can cover more ground."
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ReubenVP
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Location: Hertfordshire

Re: Humour

Post by ReubenVP »

What do pigs and ink have in common?

They both belong in a pen.
SteveB
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Re: Humour

Post by SteveB »

I bought a book on eBay called "How To Scam People Online".

That was at least three months ago - It still hasn't arrived! :cursing
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GTiJohn
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Re: Humour

Post by GTiJohn »

I bought a book a long while back Procrastination - don't waste your time

Still haven't got 'round to reading it...
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Johnny 216GSi
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Re: Humour

Post by Johnny 216GSi »

A friend of mine keeps shouting out "Broccoli" and "Cauliflower" randomly whilst I'm talking to him.

I think he may have Florets Syndrome.
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Johnny 216GSi
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Re: Humour

Post by Johnny 216GSi »

My father has suggested I should register for an organ donor card.

He's a man after my own heart.
Last edited by Johnny 216GSi on Wed Jan 31, 2024 8:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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