[ReubenVP]

What has a trunk and is found in the North Pole?


A lost elephant.

[ReubenVP]

How do you make a sausage roll?


You give it a push.

[Stan Thomas]

Does an airline pilot wear a uniform, or could it be said he wears plane clothes -and why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

[Stan Thomas]

Why is Wolverhampton the only town in England where they like it to snow?

Because its the only thing that settles there that's not on benefits!

[ReubenVP]

I had a happy childhood. My Dad used to put me in tyres and roll me down hills.

Those were Good Years....

[Stan Thomas]

I didn't have such a happy childhood Reuben.

My mom used to send me to school with my dinner wrapped in a road map, and sometimes whilst I was there they would move home without telling me, then when I once told them I was going to run away to join a circus, they said why don't you run away to sea - it's further.

And we were so poor my dad bought our clothes from the Army & Navy store - and it wasn't funny having to go to school dressed as a Japanese Admiral. In fact, we were so poor we thought knives and forks were jewelry.

[Johnny 216GSi]

I had some great days with my dad when I was young, even though he suffered with schizophrenia.

I remember one summer's day. I was 9 years old, and he was.... Mussolini.

[RoverRevival]

What’s the difference between Wuhan and Vegas??

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

[ReubenVP]

Which knight invented King Arthur's Round Table?

Sir Cumference.

[ReubenVP]

I was wondering why my frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.