[RoverRevival]

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one.

Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting.

I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars!

There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.

This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied, “I agree with you completely.”

“This must be a sign from God!” The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle.

My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break.

Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cork back in and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police.”

[SteveB]

Last night I ate five cans of alphabet spaghetti.

This morning I had the most enormous vowel movement!

[GTiJohn]

I'm now seeing with someone who identifies as a Wheelie Bin but I can't remember if we're next going out on Wednesday or Thursday.

[ReubenVP]

Bugs Bunny won't accept a file through Google drive.

He'll only accept a Whatsapp doc.

[ReubenVP]

What do you give a dog that has a high temperature?


Mustard-it's the best thing for a hot dog.

[Stan Thomas]

So to promote goodwill and raise money for the convent, this Mother Superior hosted a high-celebrity darts match. All went well, with the the last player of the evening needed 140 to win the tournament.

The atmosphere was tense with excitment and you could hear a pin drop as he threw his first dart, scoring 60, his second dart then scoring twenty.

So now everything rested on the last dart, but has he let fly, someone nudged hin accidentally on purpose,and it flew off at a tangent, embedding itself in the Mother Superior's neck who was standing too close to the board, at which she fell to the floor like a stone!

There was an almighty gasp from the audience followed by a moment of silence, only broken when the scorer exclaimed ........................

...................... ONE-NUN-DEAD-AND-E-E-E-E-EIGHTY!!

[ReubenVP]

My friend says he's a compulsive liar.....


I don't believe him.

[ReubenVP]

I just finish reading a book about the greatest basement that ever existed.


It was a best cellar.

[ReubenVP]

I want to share a joke with you all about hotels, but I have my reservations.

[ReubenVP]

I started reading a horror story in braille.


Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.