[ReubenVP]

I was hiking yesterday when suddenly I ran into a cougar.

Almost made me puma pants.

[ReubenVP]

I approached an elderly person on their mobility scooter and asked if they needed any help.

They said,

"Yes, give my scooter back!"

[Stan Thomas]

They are building some new houses in Penkridge which are so flimsy three collapsed because they took the scaffold away before the decorators had finished the wall papering.

[ReubenVP]

The inventor of the hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat had died.


RIP Scott Chegg

[ReubenVP]

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.

Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

[Stan Thomas]

What do you call an Irish Frankenstein? ........................ Begorrah!

[Stan Thomas]

It appears to be a little known fact that the man who invented anti-lock braking for cars was distantly related to the infamous Rudolf Hess - who was held in Spandau Prison after the second world war.

His name was Abe E. Hess.

[ReubenVP]

Wish I knew the person who stole the jack from under my car, the suspension is killing me.

[Stan Thomas]

Reuben my friend, why is it called "suspension" when in point of fact the springs work in compression?

[ReubenVP]

Correct me if I'm wrong, it's called a suspension as the body of the vehicle is suspended above the wheels by a series of springs/ dampers, linkages and axle frame.


In the café today, someone put a tea bag and two spoonful's of sugar into my pocket...

they took me for some type of mug.