Humour
Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2021 7:15 am
When your engine doesn't want to fire up... 
here's one for the UK What's the difference between petrol and paraffin ?
There are two EFFS in paraffin but no EFFIN petrol
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Humour
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Re: Humour
Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2021 8:34 am
Like that one here's one for the UK
What's the difference between petrol and paraffin ?
There are two EFFS in paraffin but no EFFIN petrol
here's one for the UK What's the difference between petrol and paraffin ?
There are two EFFS in paraffin but no EFFIN petrol
Re: Humour
Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2021 2:55 pm
Re: Humour
Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2022 2:07 pm
How was copper wire invented.............. ................. By two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.
How was the Grand Canyon formed................. ..................... when a Scotsman dropped a shilling down a rabbit hole.
A liitle Scottish ladie came home from school and said "Daddy, I ran home behind the bus and saved 50p", at which his father said "You fool, you should have run home behind a taxi and saved a fiver".
How was the Grand Canyon formed................. ..................... when a Scotsman dropped a shilling down a rabbit hole.
A liitle Scottish ladie came home from school and said "Daddy, I ran home behind the bus and saved 50p", at which his father said "You fool, you should have run home behind a taxi and saved a fiver".
Re: Humour
Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2022 5:35 pm
Love the third one! 
Re: Humour
Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2022 6:07 pm
The Rabbi went into the newspaper office and said that one of his flock had passed away, and he wanted a simple statement in the paper to read "Poor Cohen is dead". "O'k", said the clerk - "But its £20 for a minimum of six words - do you want to use up the other two"?
The Rabbi thought for a moment, then said "Alter it to read: Cohen is dead. Volvo for sale".
The oldest joke in the world is the two achaeologists who found the skeleton of a Jewish suicide 4800 years old. "How do you know that"? asked a reporter.
Because he has a piece of parchment in his hand that says "Goliath to win - 200 quid".
The Rabbi thought for a moment, then said "Alter it to read: Cohen is dead. Volvo for sale".
The oldest joke in the world is the two achaeologists who found the skeleton of a Jewish suicide 4800 years old. "How do you know that"? asked a reporter.
Because he has a piece of parchment in his hand that says "Goliath to win - 200 quid".
Re: Humour
Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2022 7:53 pm
Going on about the Scottish being tight, the Cornish are just as bad....
My Dad was so tight he used to turn the Gas off when he flipped his Fried Eggs over.
I came home from School one day & Dad was stripping the Wallpaper, I said "bout time you redecorated, this wallpapers older than me !" he replied "I'm not redecorating... We're moving !!!"
My Dad was so tight he used to turn the Gas off when he flipped his Fried Eggs over.
I came home from School one day & Dad was stripping the Wallpaper, I said "bout time you redecorated, this wallpapers older than me !" he replied "I'm not redecorating... We're moving !!!"
Re: Humour
Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2022 1:59 pm
Did you hear about a truck loaded with Vicks VapoRub overturning on the M1?
Amazingly there was no congestion for eight hours!
Amazingly there was no congestion for eight hours!
Re: Humour
Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2022 9:23 pm
Re: Humour
Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2022 3:07 pm
Why should you check your tyres for punctures?
In case there's a fork in the road!
In case there's a fork in the road!