Humour

Off-topic and topics which do not fit in elsewhere.
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Dorchester
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Humour

Post by Dorchester »

When your engine doesn't want to fire up... :slapme

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Rover 214i cabriolet v16 1994 BRG & lightstone leather
Rover 25 1.4 Saws Tuning remapped 2002 platinum silver
Rover 75 V6 2.5 1999 Atlantic blue & sandstone beige leather
Rover P5B coupe 1968 Arden green & buckskin leather
961tat
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Re: Humour

Post by 961tat »

Like that one :laughing2 here's one for the UK

What's the difference between petrol and paraffin ?

There are two EFFS in paraffin but no EFFIN petrol :slapme
Topcat Tomcat
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Re: Humour

Post by Topcat Tomcat »

:slapme :slapme
Topcat Tomcat (aka Conductorwomble)

1990 216 GSi Auto 5 Door
1995 214 iS 3 Door - White Gold
1998 VVC Coupe - Tahiti Blue/Red Piccadilly & Leather
2001 1.8 Connie 45 4 Door - Wedgewood Blue
2004 75 CDTi Connie - Firefrost
Stan Thomas
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Re: Humour

Post by Stan Thomas »

How was copper wire invented.............. ................. By two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.

How was the Grand Canyon formed................. ..................... when a Scotsman dropped a shilling down a rabbit hole.

A liitle Scottish ladie came home from school and said "Daddy, I ran home behind the bus and saved 50p", at which his father said "You fool, you should have run home behind a taxi and saved a fiver".
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Dorchester
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Re: Humour

Post by Dorchester »

Love the third one! :laughing
Rover 214i cabriolet v16 1994 BRG & lightstone leather
Rover 25 1.4 Saws Tuning remapped 2002 platinum silver
Rover 75 V6 2.5 1999 Atlantic blue & sandstone beige leather
Rover P5B coupe 1968 Arden green & buckskin leather
Stan Thomas
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Re: Humour

Post by Stan Thomas »

The Rabbi went into the newspaper office and said that one of his flock had passed away, and he wanted a simple statement in the paper to read "Poor Cohen is dead". "O'k", said the clerk - "But its £20 for a minimum of six words - do you want to use up the other two"?

The Rabbi thought for a moment, then said "Alter it to read: Cohen is dead. Volvo for sale".

The oldest joke in the world is the two achaeologists who found the skeleton of a Jewish suicide 4800 years old. "How do you know that"? asked a reporter.

Because he has a piece of parchment in his hand that says "Goliath to win - 200 quid".
Kriss707
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Re: Humour

Post by Kriss707 »

Going on about the Scottish being tight, the Cornish are just as bad....

My Dad was so tight he used to turn the Gas off when he flipped his Fried Eggs over.

I came home from School one day & Dad was stripping the Wallpaper, I said "bout time you redecorated, this wallpapers older than me !" he replied "I'm not redecorating... We're moving !!!"
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ReubenVP
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Re: Humour

Post by ReubenVP »

Did you hear about a truck loaded with Vicks VapoRub overturning on the M1?

Amazingly there was no congestion for eight hours!
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Dorchester
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Re: Humour

Post by Dorchester »

Image
Rover 214i cabriolet v16 1994 BRG & lightstone leather
Rover 25 1.4 Saws Tuning remapped 2002 platinum silver
Rover 75 V6 2.5 1999 Atlantic blue & sandstone beige leather
Rover P5B coupe 1968 Arden green & buckskin leather
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ReubenVP
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Location: Hertfordshire

Re: Humour

Post by ReubenVP »

Why should you check your tyres for punctures?


In case there's a fork in the road!
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