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Re: Humour
Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2023 4:42 pm
by Stan Thomas
A chap walked past my house wearing a shoe and a wellie - and when I inquired why, he said that the weather forecast was that there was going to be one foot of snow.
Re: Humour
Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2023 9:02 pm
by Johnny 216GSi
To all those who, like me, are addicted to Mime.
Please don't suffer in silence.
Re: Humour
Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2023 12:24 pm
by ReubenVP
"Sorry Sir, we don't serve time travellers here."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
Re: Humour
Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2023 6:54 am
by Stan Thomas
A school teacher was detained at Manchester Airport after a slide rule, two calculators, a protractor, a compass and trigonometry tables were found in his luggage. He was charged with carrying weapons of maths instruction, and suspected of being an Al-gebra Terrorist. Then the S.A.S. stormed Chester Zoo to release all the Ostriches.
Re: Humour
Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2023 11:59 am
by ReubenVP
What do you call a monkey that steps on a minefield?
A ba-boom!
Re: Humour
Posted: Sun May 07, 2023 6:22 pm
by Stan Thomas
What do you call a homing pidgeon that does not retrurn .................................?
.............................. a pidgeon.
Re: Humour
Posted: Mon May 08, 2023 12:06 am
by ROVER Cabby
My girlfriend got hit by a bus today.
Just as well, I wasn't ready for fatherhood.

Re: Humour
Posted: Tue May 09, 2023 10:08 am
by ReubenVP
I got an email about how to read maps backwards.
It was spam.
Re: Humour
Posted: Tue May 09, 2023 9:03 pm
by Johnny 216GSi
My girlfriend has just dumped me.
She saw me working in a supermarket, stacking the shelves.
She said the reason she dumped me was because I'd lied and said I was a pilot in the red arrows.
I said "No, I told you I was part of an Aerial display team."
Re: Humour
Posted: Wed May 10, 2023 11:58 am
by ReubenVP
This weekend is the badminton horse trials.
Last year three were found guilty!!!