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Re: Humour
Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2023 7:33 pm
by SteveB
My wife says I only have two faults.
Firstly, I don’t really listen to anything she says, and secondly…. something else…
Re: Humour
Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2023 7:35 pm
by SteveB
I once replaced our bed with a trampoline.
The wife was furious – she literally hit the ceiling!
Re: Humour
Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2023 8:55 pm
by 961tat
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other’s a little lighter.
Re: Humour
Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2023 1:26 am
by Stan Thomas
Our local monastry are going to put fish and chips on the menu - which will be run by their fish-friar and a chip-monk.
Re: Humour
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2023 10:43 am
by Stan Thomas
I went to the doctors today and said "I've got the shakes", at which he asked "Do you drink much"?
"No" I said - "Now I spill most of it".
Re: Humour
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2023 2:45 pm
by ReubenVP
I got my Wife a wooden leg for Christmas.
It's not their main present, just a stocking filler.
Re: Humour
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2023 6:37 pm
by Stan Thomas
It's just been announced on the BBC six-o-clock news that there is now a new contraceptive pill for men.
It lookes like a glass marble which apparently you put in your shoe - and it makes you limp.
Re: Humour
Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2023 10:18 pm
by ReubenVP
Mum, can I have a dog for Christmas?
No, you can have turkey like everyone else!
Re: Humour
Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2023 10:30 am
by Stan Thomas
We are having duck for Christmas - if the park is open.
Re: Humour
Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2023 1:52 pm
by Johnny 216GSi
Q. What's the first sign of madness?
A. When you see their tour bus driving down the road.