Rover 200 & 400 Owners Club

The prime minister is suffering from paranoid delusions that his condiments are talking to him during meal times, sauces close to the government have said.

The Prime Minister is obviously not HP, and has a lot to ketchup on.

I was standing at a cash machine the other day when an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.

So I pushed her and she fell over.

I once wrote a song about a tortilla. I call it a song – it was more like a rap.

On behalf of "Johnny216GTi", "ReubenVP", "SteveB" and indeed everyone who contributes to the humour page, we would all like to say:

"A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR READERS"

I got "Bonopoly" last Christmas. It's a very similar game to the original but the streets have no names....

I saw a snowman in Asda earlier, by the fruit and veg.


He was by the carrots, picking his nose.

I’ve bought the wife a new fridge for Christmas.

I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

Chris Rea's plans for Christmas have been thrown into turmoil after his car failed the MoT.