Rover 200 & 400 Owners Club

The pub was pretty wild last night.

Someone's nipple got pierced - and I got banned from darts.

Just been reading about Custer's last stand, and I can't understand why the Indians became so hostile when only ten minutes before the battle they were all singing and dancing.

P.S. for my friend ReubenVP:

Our local pub is so rough the sawdust on the floor is last night's furniture, and you cannot get in unless your tatoos are spelled wrong!

In a hotel lobby recently, there was a crowd of grand masters all talking about how good they were.

It was just chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Someone I know who smokes illegal substances stole a page from my daily planner to roll up a joint.

Now he's high on my list of priorities.

He's ridiculous, really. He even bought a pair of shoes from his drug dealer.

I'm really not sure what they were laced with, but he was tripping all day.

My girlfriend accused me of acting too much like a private detective.

She said "We should split up."

I said "Good idea. That way, we can cover more ground."

What do pigs and ink have in common?

They both belong in a pen.

I bought a book on eBay called "How To Scam People Online".

That was at least three months ago - It still hasn't arrived!

I bought a book a long while back Procrastination - don't waste your time

Still haven't got 'round to reading it...

A friend of mine keeps shouting out "Broccoli" and "Cauliflower" randomly whilst I'm talking to him.

I think he may have Florets Syndrome.

My father has suggested I should register for an organ donor card.

He's a man after my own heart.