Rover 200 & 400 Owners Club

Had a 'phone call at three-o-clock this morning from someone asking for "a push".

I looked out the bedroom window - but could not see a car or anything in sight - so I asked "Where are you"? .......................... and the man replied I'm over here - on the swings".

I've recently been fired from my job as a taxi driver.


I found out customers don't like it when you go the extra mile

I opened a new bank account today, but I then discovered there was no way for me to pay money in.

I just couldn't credit it.

What was the name of the Egyptian who was buried with chocolates and nuts?


Pharaoh Rocher.

Did you hear that the inventor of the speedboat died this week?

The funeral is next Wednesday, followed by the wake.

At 60, my grandmother started walking 5 miles a day to keep fit.

She's 97 now and we haven't got a clue where she is.

I've been trying skipping at the local gym to keep fit, but I'm rubbish at it.

I've employed a personal trainer now to monitor my progress.

They've promised to keep me in the loop.

I'm on a light diet.

I eat by daylight, by moonlight, and sometimes by the refrigerator light.

Someone asked me if I had a joke about brown sugar.

Jokes about white sugar are rare.

Jokes about brown sugar, well, Dem er rarer.

I got mugged by six dwarves last night.


Not happy.