A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left,...

Why did princess Diana cross the road? Coz she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.

My wife used to headbutt me in the face every time she had an orgasm.....I didnt mind too much until I found out she was faking it.

Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?

When you go the the bathroom you take 4 shots!

blue wire from the back of the radio is for electric aerials and is only live when the radio is on (key position 1).

I used to have a goose, one day it decided to go next door and lay an egg. So I knocked on and it was an Indian bloke. I said sorry to bother you but my goose laid an egg and I’ve just come to collect it. Oh no no no he said, the goose laid it on my land, it’s my egg, that is Indian law. Yeah ok, ju...

My wife ran off with my best friend…


I really miss him.

Connectors under the seats with yellow plug, cut it off and replace with bullet connectors.

I’d put more money on the timing at the distributor being out first.

What’s the difference between Wuhan and Vegas??

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.