Can anyone tell me what oblivious means, because I have no idea.

Someone at the airport fainted and fell on the carousel, they're slowly coming round.

To the person who stole my place in the queue.

I'm after you now.

A builder was hit by a flying power tool.

They said, "Everything was fine... and then, Bosch!"

Did you hear about the jaguar that ate a tightrope walker?

It was craving a well-balanced meal.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

Husband and Wife are on a cruise.

Husband: It's quiet on deck tonight.

Wife: Everyone must be watching the band.

Husband: There isn't a band tonight.

Wife: I'm sure I heard someone say a band on ship!

If anyone wants a copy of Osteopath Monthly, I have back issues.

My friend was at the Apple store and saw a crime being committed.

Guess that makes them an iWitness.

A major manufacturer of rulers have announced that they are not making them any longer.