[ReubenVP]

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?


When he asked them to name the worlds best composer, they all said "Bach Bach"!

[961tat]

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you

[ReubenVP]

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you

A man standing in a bakery and asks why all the cakes are priced a one pound except one which is three pounds.


The baker says that's Madeira cake.

[961tat]

A man standing in a bakery and asks why all the cakes are priced a one pound except one which is three pounds.


The baker says that's Madeira cake.
[/quote]




Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

[Johnny 216GSi]

I was in Barbados and I was looking for a nice steak and kidney pie but they were all priced at £10. I thought - that's expensive, I'm not paying that.

So I flew over to the Bahamas and I found lots of apple pies for about £15 and I thought - that's expensive, I'm not paying that.

So I flew over to Antigua and saw that the chicken and mushroom pies were all about £20.

I said to one of the sellers "I've noticed wherever I go around here, the pies are really expensive."

And the guy said "Yeah, those are just the pie-rates of the Caribbean."

[Johnny 216GSi]

The savoury dessert shop I started in Israel called "Cheeses of Nazareth" isn't doing as well as I thought it would.

[ReubenVP]

The savoury dessert shop I started in Israel called "Cheeses of Nazareth" isn't doing as well as I thought it would.

I had a neck brace fitted years ago,


I've never looked back since.

[ReubenVP]

My sewing instructor has just told me that I'm the worse student they have ever seen.

Sorry, wrong thread.

[Stan Thomas]

Our local pie shop has just closed down with a loss of 3.1416 jobs.

[ReubenVP]

Common sense is like a deodorant.


Those who need it never use it.