[Stan Thomas]

A chap walked past my house wearing a shoe and a wellie - and when I inquired why, he said that the weather forecast was that there was going to be one foot of snow.

[Johnny 216GSi]

To all those who, like me, are addicted to Mime.

Please don't suffer in silence.

[ReubenVP]

"Sorry Sir, we don't serve time travellers here."


A time traveller walks into a bar.

[Stan Thomas]

A school teacher was detained at Manchester Airport after a slide rule, two calculators, a protractor, a compass and trigonometry tables were found in his luggage. He was charged with carrying weapons of maths instruction, and suspected of being an Al-gebra Terrorist. Then the S.A.S. stormed Chester Zoo to release all the Ostriches.

[ReubenVP]

What do you call a monkey that steps on a minefield?


A ba-boom!

[Stan Thomas]

What do you call a homing pidgeon that does not retrurn .................................?

.............................. a pidgeon.

[ROVER Cabby]

My girlfriend got hit by a bus today.


Just as well, I wasn't ready for fatherhood.

[ReubenVP]

I got an email about how to read maps backwards.


It was spam.

[Johnny 216GSi]

My girlfriend has just dumped me.

She saw me working in a supermarket, stacking the shelves.

She said the reason she dumped me was because I'd lied and said I was a pilot in the red arrows.

I said "No, I told you I was part of an Aerial display team."

[ReubenVP]

This weekend is the badminton horse trials.


Last year three were found guilty!!!