[Johnny 216GSi]

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink last night.

I'm in hospital now, waiting to be seen.

[Stan Thomas]

My father used to keep three boozers. ................... me and my two brothers.

[Stan Thomas]

In fact, my father said his grandfather worked for Ansells Brewery in Birmingham, where he fell into a vat of beer and was drowned (although he did get out three times to have a wee!)

[StubbornPatriot]

A friend of mine recently got fired from his job at the calendar factory. A bit harsh really, all he did was take a day off.

[Johnny 216GSi]

Police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion.

They said he'll be given a tough sentence.

[Johnny 216GSi]

My doctor has just treated me for my addiction to laptops.

He put me on a course of tablets.

[Johnny 216GSi]

I found a wizard sitting in my fridge this morning.

I was trying to watch the gas and electric bills this winter, but I guess a cold spell is coming.

[ReubenVP]

My Visa card was declined at the sweater shop.

So the cashier had to ask for my cardigan.

[ReubenVP]

Why did the sad ghost use an elevator?


To lift their spirits.

[Stan Thomas]

Have a good look at a brick wall. Is the mortar holding the bricks together, or holding them apart?