[GTiJohn]

I was wondering why my frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

^^^^^^ This is why I read this thread

[Stan Thomas]

Some people came to our door yesterday asking if we would donate to the old folks home. ........................ So we let them have our Granny.

[ReubenVP]

Currently really getting into Garage music.

My favourite tracks are "You Can't Get Better Than A Kwik-Fit Fitter" and "Autoglass Repair-Autoglass Replace".

[Dorchester]

Good one ReubenVP.

[Stan Thomas]

Why was Robinson Crusoe always free at week-ends? Because he had everything done by Friday.

[ReubenVP]

Great nicknames for work colleagues:

Lava Lamp- looks great but not very bright

KitKat- always on a break

Dr Doolittle- clue is in the name

Deck Chair- folds under pressure

Motion Light- only works when you're passing by

E.T. - just wants to go home

Lantern- not bright and needs to be carried

[SteveB]

What's E.T. short for?

'Cos he's only got little legs.

[ReubenVP]

Justice is best served cold.

Because if it was served warm, it would be justwater.

[RoverRevival]

My wife ran off with my best friend…


I really miss him.

[Stan Thomas]

I come from a very musical family. Even our sewing machine was a singer.