[Stan Thomas]

Whilst renovating Shakespeare's birthplace they discovered the original manuscript for Hamet - still with the pencil William used to write it.

Unfortunately, he had chewed the end, so thay could not tell if it was 2B or not 2B.

P.S.
It is rumoured Shakespeare did not write the plays, but they were actually witten by someone else with the same name.

[Stan Thomas]

I asked the doctor "What is vertigo" - and he said it is what a German tells you if you ask for directions.

A man asked an an athlete carrying a long pole into the Biejing Olympics "Are you a pole vaulter"?

"No", he replied, "I'm a German - but how did you know my name"?

[ReubenVP]

What's a mixed feeling?

When you see your Mother-in-Law backing off a cliff in your Rover!

[961tat]

What's a mixed feeling?

When you see your Mother-in-Law backing off a cliff in your Rover!

Now I can relate to that one , no mice at our house when she come round and she upset me the other day she cancelled her funeral

[Stan Thomas]

I went on the O.A.P's coach trip last Sunday to see the Victory, and on the poop deck there is a stone slab engraved with the words "This is where Nelson fell"

...... and I though "no wonder" - I nearly tripped over the bloody thing myself.

P.S.
Regarding the previous joke - did you know "mother-in-law" is an anagram for Hitler Woman?

[961tat]

I went on the O.A.P's coach trip last Sunday to see the Victory, and on the poop deck there is a stone slab engraved with the words "This is where Nelson fell"

...... and I though "no wonder" - I nearly tripped over the bloody thing myself.

P.S.
Regarding the previous joke - did you know "mother-in-law" is an anagram for Hitler Woman?

Yes I did and Les Dawson wrote a book titled Hitler was my mother-in-law

[Stan Thomas]

The man who invented the spell-checker has died - and his fewnrle is next Frydey.

[ReubenVP]

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

[Stan Thomas]

Confucius he say "Better to sleep with old hen than pullit".

[StubbornPatriot]

Confucius, he say, "Man who goes under car with tool in hand, not necessalily mechanic."